


Late One Night

by WrecklessImagine



Category: Criminal Minds, Matthew Gray Gubler - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Pregnancy, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrecklessImagine/pseuds/WrecklessImagine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the reader shows up on Matthew's home doorstep during a family dinner with a folder of papers and a surprise pregnancy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise

“I hope the Reverend was right,” you think to yourself, sitting in the driveway of this beautiful Vegas home. You know your sickness kicks in during the evenings, so you hope that this will be a short visit.

As you clutch the manila folder in your arms, you get out of your car and walk up to the house. “Here goes nothing.”

Ding dong, goes the doorbell, and as you hear skittering behind the doors, a young woman opens the door.

“May I help you?” she inquires.

“Yes, is this the Gubler residence?”

“Who wants to know?”

“Hi. I’m sorry. My name is Y/N. I have some documents for a Mr. Matthew Gubler.”

Her eyes widen as she says, “Hang on a second.”

Walking away laughing, she calls out in to the house.

Matthew! You’re getting seeeeeerved!”

Furrowing your brow as you peek inside the house, you watch as those eyes come round the corner.

Those eyes, and that smile...and that hair.

Good _god_ , that hair.

“Hey! I’m Matthew. How can I help?”

As you stand there in silence, realizing this conversation is really about to happen, your hands start to shake.

“Do you think we could, uh…talk out on the porch, Mr. Gubler?”

“Please! Call me Matthew. And sure.”

The two of you sit on the porch, and you hand him the manila folder.

“Do you remember me?”

Matthew stares at you blankly, furrowing his brow, not realizing he was supposed to know you. “I’m sorry, h-have we met?”

“At a party a couple of months ago. In Pasadena. You invited me in out of my car, since I was DD’ing for a few girls and hadn’t come in, and we had a drink together. Do you remember that at all?”

“No…no I’m sorry, I don’t. I remember the party, but not you.”

As your stomach sank, you gave him the quick synopsis, knowing nothing would lessen the blow of this meeting any less.

“Well, we sat down and talked for a while, and you started not feeling well, so I helped you upstairs. I got you settled into bed, and I kept trying to leave but you wouldn’t let me go. So, I laid down with you to stay…”

“Uh huh…” Matthew says with a little concern.

“I am so sorry. I should’ve kept denying your advances. You were intoxicated and you kept telling me how lonely you felt and how you didn’t want me to let you go, and I…” tears well up in your eyes and you look down at your feet. “I should’ve kept saying no to your advances. Mr. Gubler I am so sorry.”

“Matthew. It’s Matthew.”

Your entire body starts to shake with nervousness as you turn your attention to the folder. “In this folder is a series of documents. They are all signed and witnessed, except for the last one. The documents talk about how I will never go to the media and announce anything, and one states how I will not attempt to come after you for money, and another one states how I will not harass you at your work or home residence(s) should you not want my presence.”

“Wh-why are these documents necessary?” Matthew asks, knowing good and well why.

Sighing, you whisper, “Because I’m pregnant.”

Matthew stares blankly over your head, and after a few moments have passed, asks, “What is the last document? The one that isn’t signed?”

“That is for you. Should you make the decision that you don’t want to be apart of this, which is completely fine by the way…we will be alright in terms of money, I promise…it is a document that waives your parental rights. You can wash your hands of this incident knowing that I will never go to the media or attempt to slander your name and reputation in any way.”

“Waive parental rights…” he trails off. Could this actually be happening? Could he have made such a grave error of judgement?

As tears streak your cheeks, you feel the nausea rolling in your stomach. “Mr. Matthew, I am so, so sorry. I took advantage of you that night, for my own selfish whims, and have put you in a horrible scenario. I am so beyond sorry.”

Matthew turns his blank stare to you, unable to come up with anything to say.

“I suppose I should get back to my hotel room. I am not feeling too well anyway.”

“D-do you have a cell phone?” Matthew asks.

“No. But, that number on the front of the folder is the phone number to my hotel room, should you need it…or want it…for whatever reason.”

Matthew turns his gaze down to the numbers on the folder, his thoughts swirling in his head.

“I take full responsibility, Mr. Matthew. I had time to make my choice, and after one bad decision, I didn’t want to risk making another. You have every right to have the time that I had to make the decision that I made of my own free will.”

When Matthew doesn’t answer, you get up from your chair. Your hands shaking, you put them behind your back, focusing on your breathing so you don’t get sick on his porch.

“I-I am so sorry, Mr. Matthew.”

As you walk off the porch towards your car, you hear Matthew say behind you, “It’s Matthew. Just…Matthew.”


	2. Anxious

Throwing open the door to your hotel room, you make a dash for the toilet. All of the nerves, all of the self-consciousness…all of the fear…dislodging itself from your stomach in a heave of despair as it rises from your throat and barrels into the overgrown porcelain trash can. This is the first time you’ve truly been sick with this child, and you fear it’s more to do with your encounter than your hormones.

Something tells you that you will not hear from him. And who can blame him? After all, you’re as plain jane as they come. Having a baby with you is the equivalent of handcuffing yourself to a tree and swallowing the key. Never going anywhere, and never enjoying the sights you are chained to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew stumbles back into the house, and as the family turns to look at him, he falls to his knees in a daze. His mother and sister come running up to him, asking him what is wrong. With their voices sounding so far away, he looks blankly at his mother and says, “I am so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” she asks. Worried for her son’s well-being, she cups his face in her hands. “Talk to me. What did that girl have to say?”

“Sh-she…”

And as Matthew burrows his face into his mothers shoulder, he begins to cry as his sister starts rubbing his back, knowing in the pit of their stomach what has happened, but neither wanting to admit it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up the next morning with a massive headache. Rolling over and grumbling, you pick up the phone and dial the number for the kitchen downstairs.

“Room service. May I have your name and room number?”

“Y/N, room 401.”

“What can I get for you?” the friendly voice on the other side asked.

A new existence, you thought. “Could I have some orange juice, some cinnamon apple oatmeal, and a bowl of fruit, please?”

“We will send it right up.”

“Thank you so much.”

As you hung up the phone, you laid back down on the bed, recounting the awful scenes from last night. Remembering how you ruined the night…no, the life…of this beautiful man who has done nothing but work hard and care for those that are close to him.

Groaning, you wrap yourself back up in your comforter, hoping that breakfast will be here soon. After all, last night made for one hell of an empty stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, what are you gonna do, pretty boy?” Shemar asked over the phone. Matthew had been up most of the night talking and crying to his best friend. He realized thru the phone conversation that, not only did Shemar remember her, he even tried to come take her place when he went to check on them. Shemar says that it was Matthew that was begging her to stay. He said that it was Matthew that didn’t want to let her go. So, Shemar didn’t fight it.

“She feels that…she took advantage of _me_ , Shemar,” Matthew groaned. How could he have possibly allowed her to have left here last night thinking something like that!?

“Dude, even when I was in there, your arms wouldn’t unravel from her. I would bet my money on the fact that you made the move on her, and all she did was give in.”

As the night starts reeling back to his mind in small pieces, he starts to remember their conversation. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way her hand felt when he put his on top of it…the way she sipped slowly at her drinks…

“Hey, Matthew, you there?” Shemar asked. Snapping back to reality, Matthew asks, “I-is it…is it too soon to call her?”

“Dude, I think in this circumstance, you shouldn’t of even let her leave last night.”

Sighing with tears of guilt welling in his throat, he says, “I have a call to make.”

“Go get ‘er, pretty boy,” Shemar says.

Hanging up the phone, he thrashes thru his room to find the manila folder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of the phone ringing awakens you. You had just drifted off after filling your stomach full of breakfast, and as you roll over to the other side of the bed, you plant your face in your pillow as you pick up.

“Hello?” you muffle.

“Hello.”

Recognizing the voice, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

“Matthew.”

“Ah, there it is,” he says, trying to crack a joke. “No ‘Mr.’ this time.”

Chuckling uncomfortably, you retort, “Yes, heh. I could tell you weren’t a fan.”

After a most uncomfortable silence, he asks, “Are you alright? I mean, how was your night last night? I mean, after you got back to your hotel.”

Should I tell him the truth?

“I mean, I was a little sick, but nothing I couldn’t handle.”

After a pause, Matthew sniffles. “Y/N, I am so sorry. I never should’ve let you leave here last night. Much less let you leave here thinking that you took advantage of me.”

Not knowing what you say, he continues, “The night, with the help of my friend Shemar, is slowly coming back to me.”

“I remember Shemar,” you remark. “He tried to come relieve me from duty, so to speak.”

“So he said as well.” You hear Matthew sigh into the phone. “Can I be honest with you?”

Here it comes. “You can be anything you wish.”

“I never thought of myself as a father. The fun and crazy uncle? Yes. But never a father. I’m just so…so…”

“Eccentric?”

You hear Matthew chuckle, and you realize how soothing the sound is to your ears. “Yes, eccentric is a nice word for it.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’ve always wanted to be a mother. Ever since my parents passed…”

As your voice trails off, Matthew asks, “are you an only child?”

“Yes,” you say, tears welling in your eyes.

Continuing hastily, “all that to say is: we will be alright, should you choose to walk the other way. I wasn’t kidding when I said that last night.”

This woman is incredible, Matthew thinks to himself. “Would you…would you mind meeting up today? We can meet wherever you’d like.”

“Well I wasn’t planning on going out today…” your voice trails off. “I’m still reeling a bit from last night.”

With Matthew silent on the other end of the line, you can feel the disappointment seeping thru the phone receiver.

“Do you like Doctor Who?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“I said…Do you like Doctor Who? It’s a TV show. There’s a marathon on the BBC channel. That was my plan today since the hotel has room service. Just a pajama day with snacks and drinks and Doctor Who,” you ramble.

Smiling, Matthew responds, “I love that show. It’s a great show.”

“Well, if you’re up for a pajama day, you’re more than welcome to come and watch the marathon with me. That is, if you don’t have to work or have other plans for the day. Which is completely alright. And the bed is really big so we would really have to work at it in order to touch each other, it’s not like we would be cuddling or anything. Not that we clearly haven’t…”

Shut up!, you think to yourself. Stop rambling!

Matthew gives you a huge belly laugh on the other end of the line. “I love pajama days, and Doctor Who is a great show. Just tell me what hotel and which room and I’ll be there as soon as I can get there.”

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, you say, “Alright, do you have a pen and paper?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Knock, knock, knock._

Tumbling out of the bed, you make a quick stop at the mirror to make sure you don’t look too disheveled. You grab your robe, wrap it around you tight, and open the door.

Standing there, in a maroon-colored robe and blue-and-white striped pajamas stands the tall, strong, lanky man from last night. His disheveled hair in his face, a nervous look in his eyes, and shifting from foot to foot, he looks up at you when you open the door and freezes.

Teasing a slight smile, you open the door and usher him into the room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you say, walking back around and crawling into your spot on the bed.

As Matthew steps in and lets the door close, he continues to stare at you.

“Matthew, are you alright?” you ask hesitantly.

“Yes. God, I’m sorry. It’s just…you just…”

Furrowing your brow, you say, “if this was too soon, if you leave it won’t hurt my feelings.”

Looking at you in disbelief, he exclaims, “you have no idea how incredible you are, do you?”

Eyebrows ticking up a notch, you are at a loss for words. As Matthew comes and sits on the bed next too you, a bit closer than you were expecting, he slips his arm around you.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” he whispers as he puts his forehead to yours, an resting his free hand lightly on your stomach.

Blushing at the sudden onset of outward affection, you lean into his touch. Something at the back of your mind told you that the TV would only be background noise. After all, there was so much you wanted to learn about him.


	3. She Says Yes

As the day passes with laughs and heartfelt stories, dinnertime rolls around before you realize that the television never got turned on.

“Well, so much for Doctor Who,” you mused.

“It’s alright,” Matthew responds, “This was much more entertaining anyway.”

Blushing lightly, you feel your stomach start to growl. “Would you like to order some dinner?” you ask. As a smile creeps across Matthew’s face, you pick up the phone to ask the kitchen about the dinner menu. After getting dinner ordered, Matthew lays down in the bed, his body tangled in the comforter.

“Come here,” he croons. As you slowly slip your way under the sheets, you find yourself scooting closer to him. Laying your head on his pillow, Matthew takes his hand and tucks a loose strand of hair back behind your ear.

“So, here is what I’m thinking,” Matthew starts. “I want to be a part of this child’s life. In any way I can. Whether we are cordial and we co-parent, or whether we do a joint custody agreement and we are friends, or whether we…well…find ourselves in another scenario…” he trails off.

“You mean a romantic one,” you state, hoping and praying for a positive answer.

“Exactly,” Matthew responds. Feeling your heart flutter in your chest, relief cascades over your body. While you would never hold it against him if he had walked away, it is nice to know you are not alone.

“D-does your family know? I mean, know why I was there last night?”

“Yes.”

Looking down on the pillow, your eyes start to burn. Closing them, hoping to hold back the tears, one lonely tear slips from the cracks.

“Oh no! No, no, no, don’t cry,” Matthew muses as he wipes the tear from your cheek. “They are not upset. Or angry. Not by any means. I mean, it isn’t ideal, but the truth of the matter is they only have one grandchild, and it didn’t look like any were going to happen on my end. Until now, that is. So, in an odd sort of twist, they were kind of excited this morning…you know, given the situation. I think how you approached me last night helped that a lot.”

“How do you mean?” you asked.

Matthew, raising his eyebrows in shock, says, “You don’t know? I mean, all the paperwork…the legal paperwork…you handed me last night. All of that paperwork fell on _your_ shoulders. You handed me paperwork that you had signed _willingly_ stating that if you ever meddled in my life should I have chosen to walk away, that I could have taken you to court. You didn’t come seeking money, you didn’t come in malice, or in anger, or bring any accusatory stance with you. You came out of respect. Do you not realize that?”

Shrugging, Matthew chuckles to himself, “like I said, you are a hell of a woman.”

Feeling your cheeks starting to burn, you hear a knock at the door.

“Dinner is served!” you hear the bellhop yell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was delicious!” you squeal. “My god, I hope I don’t get sick tonight. What a waste that would be.”

As worry overcomes Matthew’s face, he says, “do you want me to stay? In case you do get sick? I thought that was in the mornings.”

“Hah! That’s what I thought, too. But for me, it’s been in the evenings, if it even comes at all.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Matthew asks again.

Yes. Dear god, yes. Stay. Please. “Oh no, it’s alright. I know your family is probably climbing the walls wondering how today went.”

Giggling to himself, Matthew confirms, “Yes, yes I know they are. But if you want me to stay, I will.”

“Honestly? I would love you to. But, there is only one bed. And sleeping in a bed together is what got us into this mess in the first place,” you retort.

“Well,” Matthew says, stacking the cart and sticking it out into the hallway, “maybe it won’t turn out to be the mess we first thought it was.”

“Maybe not…” you trail off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Matthew walks back into the house, everyone jumps up off the couch.

“How did it go!?” his mother asked.

“What is she like!?” his sister crooned.

“Did you kiss her!?” his brother jumped in and asked.

“Son!” his father yells, dragging him from the kitchen to the living room couch. “Sit, and spill.”

“Well,” Matthew starts, “we thought we were going to be watching the Doctor Who marathon together, but then she started in on a story…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laying in your bed, you stare up at the ceiling. Your stomach is settled, your mind is at ease, and your cheeks are sore from smiling all day. And, as much as you try, you can’t get his smile out of your head. His beautiful, kind, radiant smile.

You turn on the TV to catch the tail end of the last episode in the marathon. Laughing to yourself for never having turned it on, the phone beside you rings.

“Hello?” you answer.

“Hello, again.”

Hairs standing up on your arms, you squeal, “Matthew!”

“Y/N!” he mimics back, laughing thru the phone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud. I just…didn’t think I would hear from you.”

“It’s alright, Y/N. It’s nice to know you want to talk to me.”

“What can I do for you?” you ask.

“How does your stomach feel?” he shoots back.

“Oh, it’s fine, thank God. Is everything alright?”

“Yep! Everything’s fine. I just…wanted to call.”

“Well, I’m glad you did.”

“So am I,” Matthew says.

After a pause, you hear someone in the background whisper, “Well, ask her!”

“Ask me what?”

“Uh…well, I-um…”

“Matthew, you can ask me anything.” Your curiosity was getting the best of you.

“Well, you know how you said there was only one bed at your hotel room?”

“Um…yeah…I remember,” you say, furrowing your brow.

“Well, we have a guest bedroom here. You would even have your own bathroom! And a dresser for your clothes, and no one can access the bathroom unless they go thru the room so you would have your privacy, and it’s right across the hall from me, so I would be close in case you got sick, and…”

Listening to him ramble on about the bedroom at his home as opposed to the hotel room, you smile from ear to ear. How you went from almost puking on his porch to him inviting you into his home is beyond you, and you tried not to put too much thought in to it.

“Matthew,” you say, interrupting him. “It sounds lovely.”

“Really!?” Matthew exclaims. “Well, I could come get you!”

“I have a car, I can drive there.”

“Well, let me come help you with your suitcase. I don’t want you carrying something so heavy, and you can follow me back to the house without having to fuss with a GPS.”

“Matthew, I pack lightly, it’s alright, I promise.”

“Y/N. Let me help you. Please.”

Hearing the want in his voice, you sigh into the phone, realizing that if you wanted to make this work, that your barriers were going to have to come down.

“Alright. I’ll pack and wait for you to get here. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can!” As Matthew hangs up the phone, he smiles from ear to ear and turns to his family.

“She said ‘yes’!” As his whole family lets out a whoop of happiness, Matthew grabs his keys and stumbles out the front door.

“I’ll be right back!” he yells back towards his family.

Walking up behind Matthew’s mother, his father puts his hand on her lower back.

“Did you stumble like that over me while I was pregnant?” she looks up and asks quietly.

“Only every day,” his father sighs, leaning down to kiss his wife on the forehead. “Only every day.”


	4. Misstep

As you settle into your room, you sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath in. After all of the commotion with getting in the house, giving hugs, answering questions, and being polite, it was nice to settle down with no one around. But, it didn’t last long.

_Knock knock knock._

Sighing, you get up and answer the door, only to realize it’s Matthew. Smiling, you open the door and ask him if he wants to come in. Stepping thru the threshold of the door, he turns and looks at you, a huge grin on his face.

“I am so glad you are here. Staying in a hotel, no matter how nice, doesn’t cut it. You’re carrying…”

He glances down and tentatively puts his hand on your stomach.

“You’re carrying my child. I want to make sure you are taken care of. How are you feeling?”

Feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment and, what was that… _excitement?_ …you furrow your brow a bit at your own confusion as you feel your stomach slowly start to turn.

“Unfortunately, I think this is going to be a nauseous night,” you remark quietly. Again, it’s probably more to do with the excitement than the hormones, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. You wanted to see him smile.

He deserved at least that much.

A worried expression over his face, Matthew holds up a finger. Walking out of the room, you hear Matthew quietly say, “I think Y/N is turning in for the night. I’m gonna go stay with her and make sure she keeps as well as she can. We'll see you guys in the morning.”

As you hear quiet murmurs of “okay”‘s and “let us know”‘s, you smile as you change into your pajamas. He may have considered himself lucky, but you were quickly realizing that you were just as lucky.

Poking his head back in, Matthew asks you, “Can I get you anything? I’m gonna go clean up really quickly.”

Shaking your head, Matthew heads off to his bathroom, and no sooner had he left than his sister came walking in and shut the door behind her.

Confused, you look up at her, a little rock of nervousness dropping into the waves of your stomach, and as she turned to look at you, she said, “I don’t want to be mean, or condescending, but I am worried about Matthew.”

Not knowing what to say, you just stare at her in confusion.

“He is so excited, and so quickly excited, about this child. And, no offense to you, but we don’t know you. We don’t even know if this is actually his child. How do we know it’s not someone else’s child?”

As hurt wafts over your being, you realize that she does have a point. A strange woman shows up on their doorstep claiming that the child she is carrying is her brother’s, and that it’s his because she was a virgin when it happened!?

Well…they didn’t know that last part…but still. She had a point.

“I just…” she continues, “I just think that if you suggested a paternity test, for his sake…you know, to settle his mind. You know, make it for his benefit, that he would listen to you. He has some serious blinders on right now, and all I want to do is protect my brother.”

Nodding slowly, you choke out, “I will make him take one, I promise.”

A slowly, relief-filled smile comes across her face. “Thank you. I’m sorry it’s so…so blunt. To come in here like this.”

“It’s alright…” you trail off.

“I’ll leave you be. I think Matthew’s almost done.”

As she turns to walk out of the room, you stop her and say, “It’s so wonderful.”

“What is?” she says as she turns around and looks you in the eye.

“That Matthew has such an amazing family. You know, to look after him.”

Smiling, she says, “That’s what family does.”

Nodding slowly, you watch her walk out of the room, and as she shuts the door behind her, you feel that all-too-familiar clinch at the back of your throat.

_So, who’s going to look after me?_


	5. Diner Food

“I still don’t understand why it was necessary,” Matthew grumbles to you as you walk in from the mailbox. “Just tell me who asked for it.”

“It’s alright,” you reassure him. “It is just for a piece of mind. Because of who you are.”

“But what does that even mean!?” Matthew laments. He wanted to know who had asked for the DNA test. He wanted to know who was questioning his judgement. After all, it was his decision whether or not to stand by you, whether it was his child or not.

“Just consider it a reassurance,” you say as you hand over the envelope. “Now, go open it with your family. I am going to go take a shower.”

Hearing Matthew sigh, he turns to walk into the living room. You, however, slip off to take a warm shower. Yes, you did understand why his sister had requested having one, but it still made your stomach churn a bit. There was no accusation, but you just couldn’t shake it.

That feeling.

Letting the warm water cascade down your body, you find your hand drifting to the ever-so-slight convexed slope of your lower body. Smiling to yourself, you realize that, no matter what, you will always have him.

Or her. But it felt wrong to call it a her.

Coming back to reality, you hear the growing commotion in the main room.

“All I did was ask, Matthew! She didn’t have to, but she was considerate enough to do it!” you heard his sister say.

Uh oh.

“It was none of your business. This is my decision, whether it’s my child or not.” As you lean your head against the fogging glass of the shower, you feel a knot form in the back of your throat.

“You have no idea the kind of woman she is. What she has endured. The things she enjoys doing.”

“Matthew, no one is questioning…”

“Then why the test!?” Matthew yells.

“BECAUSE WE DIDN’T WANT HER TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU!” his sister screams.

And as tears stream down your cheeks, you keep the shower running as you dry off and put your clothes on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew, red-faced and heated, storms from the living room and into your room. As he stands at the door to the bathroom, he begins ranting.

“The nerve of them! I cannot believe she asked you to do that, Y/N. That was not her place and I am so sorry. I swear to you, it doesn’t matter to me if that child is mine or not. I mean…it does, but I would like to think that you and I are friends, and I would have helped you in any way necessary. After all, everyone needs someone in their life.”

Pausing, he knocks on the door, “Y/N, are you in there?”

Furrowing his brow, he twists the knob of the door. “Y/N? I’m coming in.”

As Matthew opens the door, his heart leaps to his throat when he realizes that he has opened the door to an empty bathroom and an open window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in a diner, hair sopping wet, the waitress brings you your food. 2 pancakes, 2 eggs over-easy, extra crispy toast, 3 strips of bacon, and a milkshake.

“Here ya go, darlin’,” she drawls out, and you look up at her and smile, if nothing more than for the little reminder of home.

At least, the home you used to have. When they were all alive.

“Thank you,” you say. As you take a long pull from the milkshake, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Relax, you think to yourself. Just relax.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Panic flowing thru his veins, Matthew dashes out of the bathroom, stumbling for his shoes and keys.

“Matthew, sweetie,” his mom coos, “what’s wrong?”

“Y/N. She’s not taking a shower.”

“What do you mean?” his sister asks.

“I mean she’s not in the damn bathroom. And the window’s open! And her clothes are gone!!”

As everyone stares at Matthew with their jaws hanging by a thread onto their faces, Matthew looks at them and hisses, “and it’s because of you.”

As he turns to walk out the door, his sister says behind him, “Matthew. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t tell that to me,” Matthew ways, his back to her. “Tell that to Y/N. That’s who has been hurt.”

“Where are you going?” his mother implores.

“To find her, Mom. And I’ll be gone as long as it takes.”

As Matthew closes the door behind him, his father speaks for the first time since the debacle started.

“You two should be ashamed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N” Matthew shouts out the window. “Y/N!”

I’m shouting at her like a lost dog, Matthew thinks.

As tears well up in Matthew’s eyes, panic shakes him from his head to his knees. This woman, the woman who is carrying his child, who came in like a whirlwind 2 weeks ago, forever changing his life, is out here somewhere. In a place she doesn’t know. Carrying the child of a man she doesn’t know. In a part of the country she doesn’t know. Driving roads at night she doesn’t know.

Pulling over to the side of the road, Matthew can’t catch his breath.

If I were pregnant and overwhelmed, where would I go?

Realizing that Y/N had not eaten since this morning, Matthew whips a U-turn in the middle of the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scraping up the last of your pancakes, you lean back as your stomach expands to it fullest potential. You never knew that diner food could taste so good. You remember the days of diners with friends, and how it was always the good company that made the diner so special.

Whatever the case may be, you were full, and you weren’t crying. That was about as much as you could ask for in your particular scenario.

Getting up from your booth, you take your ticket up to the register. As your waitress walks over, she takes it from you and rings you up.

“That’ll be $12.93, miss,” she smiles.

As you rummage through your purse, you come across your latest ultrasound picture. A smile creeping its way across your face, you feel your eyes start to burn again.

Sighing as you close your tired eyes, tears slide down your cheeks once again, and just as you go to hand her your card, you hear a voice resonate from behind you.

“I’ll get that,” Matthew says.


	6. I Have Something To Say

Silence reverberating through the car on the ride home, you can’t bring yourself to look at him. You are so embarrassed and ashamed…and scared…and you don’t know what reaction is appropriate. So, you stay silent.

As he parks the car, he gets out and opens your door. Offering his hand, you take it so you can steady your wobbling legs. As you go to remove your hand, he clenches tighter around it, prompting an automatic reaction to look up.

“There you are,” he soothes, smiling. “I was wondering if you were ever going to look my way.”

Realizing your hands are starting to shake, you pull your hand away. “I’m sorry. I suppose I’m just embarrassed.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Walking into the house, everyone jumps up off of the couches. As they go to rush to you, you hold up your hand.

“I-I…have some things that I want to say.”

As everyone sits back down, you turn to his sister. “What you did was inappropriate. Understandable, but inappropriate. What you all don’t understand, except for Matthew, is that over the past month he has been remembering that night, slowly but surely, and one of the parts that he remembered was me mentioning that I was a virgin. That is why he wasn’t pushing a DNA test. Because that night was my first, and he knew that.”

Turning to his mother, you say, “Your son is not stupid, nor is he a child. He is a 31 year old man capable of making his own decisions in life. I gave him an out, a fool-proof out, and he chose not to take it. That is on him.”

And turning to Matthew, you say, “All of this has been incredible. You and your family have been so kind to me, and so generous in opening your arms to me. But I have gone from being alone for almost a decade to never being alone for the past month. And don’t get me wrong, it's been incredible. Waking up to people in a house, not always having to make my own coffee…” your eyes start to water as you continue, “These are things... _little things_...that you take for granted until they are no longer there. Like the laughter of a family at night after a good meal. These are all things I’ve been able to experience again because of _your_ family.“

As you pause to gauge everyone’s reactions, you realize his brother and father are in the corner smiling. Finding that odd, you continue, “But I am not an extrovert like you, Matthew. I don’t get my energy from being around people. You can walk into a party, entertain, crack jokes, dance, and re-emerge from the crowd energized and ready to go. I can do the same thing: dance, crack jokes, be the life of the party, but when I re-emerge, I’m ready for a nap. Being around people is draining for me, not that I don’t enjoy it! I’m just…different in that regard.”

Starting to get flustered that you are offending them, you speed up your talking, “it doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for what you have done, or that I want to go back to a hotel. But…I have a book. A book I haven’t touched in a month. And a crochet project. A project that hasn’t been touched in a month. And I am exhausted. And drained. And I just need that time…that time to retreat and breathe and exist…and do nothing more than that.”

As Matthew looks at his feet, he stammers, “W-why didn’t you tell me?”

Taking his face in your hands, you raise his gaze to meet yours, “Because I’ve thrown your life for enough of a loop. I wanted things to be smooth, and right, and good. Whatever that may have entailed for me. But I am so, _so_ tired.”

Leaning your forehead into his, you choke back your tears, “I just wanted you to be happy. To be joyful. I wanted you to think that I was a good fit for you.”

Looking into your eyes, Matthew says, “Y/N, just because you need alone time doesn’t mean you aren’t a good fit. Your mental and physical conditions are important, now more than ever. Every feeling you feel, every thing you eat, is a decision you are making for both your well-being,” he puts his hands on your stomach, “and our child’s. You need to be comfortable, and happy…and I want to give that to you.”

As Matthew wraps his long, strong arms around you, you bury your face into his chest. God, you forgot how wonderful he felt against your body.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper.

“Me, too,” Matthew says.

As the world fades into the background, neither of you realize that everyone has backtracked out of the room, leaving the two of you to exist in peace with one another.


	7. 180 Degrees

You awaken to the smell of cardamom and cinnamon.

Sniffing the air, you roll over and stretch. Last night had been a doozy, and you had been exhausted. Officially into your second trimester, you hope that the exhausted fog of the first would give way to that healthy glow soon enough.

Sitting up in bed, you hear a knock on the door.

“Y/N?”

“Come on in, Matthew.”

Smiling as he comes thru the door, he shuts it behind him as you realize he is carrying tea.

“Chai tea. I know you love fall, and the smells of chai remind me of fall,” Matthew says sheepishly.

“Thank you,” you croak. Wiping the sleep from your eyes, he sets your tea on the nightstand and sits on the edge of the bed.

“I was hoping we could talk,” Matthew says.

“Is everything alright?” you ask, your brow furrowed.

“Everything’s ok. Just nervous about asking you something.”

As you take Matthew’s hand, he takes a deep breath. “Just ask,” you soothe, putting your palm to his cheek.

“Come with me to California.”

As your eyes get wide, you say, “What?”

“Well, this holiday break has been wonderful, and eventful, but I don’t work here. I work in California.”

The thought hadn’t occurred to you that he didn’t work here. And it hadn’t even crossed your mind that he would’ve stuck around long enough for him to ask you to follow him.

Speechless, he continues. “I have a home. And it has a guest bedroom with it’s own private bathroom, just like here. You would have all of your privacy, and we could switch your prenatal care to there, and you could come visit at work. All of my friends that I work with want to meet you so badly and-”

You put your fingers to his lips in an attempt to stop his rambling. You find his rambling completely adorable, but you already had your answer.

“Okay.”

As Matthew’s eyes widen in surprise, he says, “Really? You’ll come with me?”

Scooting closer to him, you look him in the eye.

“You have been by my side ever since the night I came to your doorstep. You have taken me into your home, and into your life, just as if I had always been there. I am carrying your child. Where else would I go?”

Smiling, he gives you a huge hug. “Oh my god, Y/N, this is going to be incredible. I can show you around. We can have dinner dates. You can meet everyone I work with. You’re going to love it, I swear.”

And then he kisses you. Just like that, without any warning, or seductive stare, or face touch, or preparation. No romance, no expectation. Just a comfortable, warm, soft, gentle, lingering kiss.

And as he pulls back to look into your eyes, his hand cupping your cheek, you lose yourself to that comfortable, warm, soft, gentle pair of lips.

Pushing yourself towards his face, you crash your lips into his, and as his hand moves to the back of your head, his lips part to accept the warm vulnerability that is your tongue. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he pulls you to your knees as your tongues battle for control. Twisting and churning, you press your body into his, toppling him to the bed, the worries of the world drifting slowly into the horizon of your rear-view mirror.

Having unleashed your lust upon his lips, you slowly pull back, opening your eyes. And, greeting you with a dazed look, is the flushed face of the father of your child.

And your core burned. It burned with passion. With desire. With lust. With excitation. And…what was that?

No, it couldn’t be.

As Matthew stares into your eyes, he reaches his finger up to push some loose hair back behind your ear.

“And a good morning to you, too,” he grins.


	8. Walls

You had finally gotten settled into Matthew’s house. It was dark, and weird, and mismatched.

And you loved it.

The two of you had gotten into a groove. You would get up and make the coffee and toast, Matthew would shove off to work, you would get yourself acquainted with the city (you had found a beautiful book store that you frequent often), and dinner would usually happen. Sometimes he worked weird hours, and sometimes into the wee hours of the morning, but he always had Saturday evenings and Sundays off, and he always made sure he spent them with you.

And you were concerned that he was neglecting his friends.

So, when he came home Saturday afternoon, you decided to approach the topic.

And that exact topic is why you are sitting alone, and crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_5 Hours Earlier_

“Y/N! I’m home!” Matthew calls out. He kicks his shoes off, walks into the kitchen, and doesn’t see you. He looks around the house, in your room, in the bathroom, in the backyard, and you are nowhere to be found.

But instead, on his bedroom pillow, is a note:

Hello there, Matthew. I have gone to treat myself to a dinner out. Why don’t you go out with your friends? I am sure Shemar has missed you being out with him on Saturday evenings. I hope you enjoy yourself!

Furrowing his brow, he picks up his phone and calls you. He had finally convinced you to get a cell phone, now that you are well into your second trimester, so that if anything happened you could easily call.

“Hello?”

“Y/N. Where are you?”

“I am about to sit down in a restaurant and eat. Are you alright?”

“Come home now.”

As silence fills the end of your phone call, Matthew repeats himself.

“Come home. We need to talk.”

As you hang up the phone, you slip out of the restaurant and climb into your car. Racing home, every scenario as to what has him upset runs thru your mind.

Pulling up to his house, you race into the main room. Out of breath, you look at Matthew, his hands folded in his lap as he sits on the couch.

“Matthew!? What’s wrong?”

As you sit down furiously on the couch, you go to take his hand and he pulls away. “Matthew, talk to me.”

“Why weren’t you here for dinner?” he asked.

Assuming this wasn’t the actual issue, you replied, “Because you were going to go out tonight with Shemar and I didn’t want to cook for just me.”

“No, I wasn’t going out with Shemar. I was going to come home, have dinner with you, and we were going to watch a movie. But instead, you wanted to go out by yourself and shove me out the door with someone else.”

Flabbergasted by his response, you take a deep breath. “I figured that Shemar probably misses his Saturday outings with you. You always talk about them, but you haven’t had any lately. And I assumed it was because you thought you had to spend this time with me. And you don’t. You can still go out with your friends, just like I can still go out on my own and treat myself.”

“Y/N, if I wanted to go out with Shemar, I would. I don’t need your permission or approval,” he spat.

“And I don’t need your permission or approval to go out to dinner by myself. Nor do you have the right to command me home. If I remember correctly, I don’t have one. I am just constantly residing in other people’s.”

As Matthew turns his head, you immediately regret the words. You cannot imagine how much they stung, and you wish you could take them back.

“Matthew, I-I’m sorry. That came out completely wrong.”

As you go to put your hand on him, he shies away. Tears welling in your eyes, you plead, “Please, Matthew. I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean it. I just wanted you to go out and have some fun without me holding you back.”

“Why in the world does everyone always assume they know how I’m feeling!? Have you ever considered that I like coming home to you!? That I like watching you cook dinner for me!? That you’ve never been sexier to me than walking around this house in your pajamas carrying my child!? Huh!? Did you ever consider that this is the exact scenario that I have wished for my entire life!?”

As Matthew leaps to his feet, he puts his finger in your face. “Did it ever occur to you that I love you!? Did it ever occur to you that sleeping in separate beds is killing me!? Did you ever stop to think of the fact that I spend plenty of time with these people during lunches and late night film sessions and wish to god I could come home and slip into bed with you!? But, no! You lock your door at night, you refuse to go on dinner dates with me, even though you apparently have no issues going by YOURSELF, and you refuse time and time again to come meet the people in my life that mean THE MOST TO ME!”

Tears streaming down your cheeks in waves, Matthew grabs his coat and heads for the door.

“W-where are you going?”

As he whips around and glares at you, he hisses, “To Shemar’s.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Whoa whoa whoa…you said what!?” Shemar reacts.

Matthew takes a deep breath to calm his shaking body. It wasn’t the dinner. It was never the dinner. It was everything else. Everything he wanted with her but couldn’t have. And he had no idea how to express it. How to tell her that he cared for her, that he wanted to be by her side. That he wasn’t just a “baby daddy.“ That he wanted to be her support. Her provider. Her protector. Her lover.

He wanted to be insatiable to her. And instead, he had become her abuser.

At least…that’s how he felt.

Groaning, he puts his head in his hands. “Shemar, what do I do?”

“You have two options that would work, depending on the kind of gal she is. 1)You could stay here, and give her some space, or 2) you can go home, shut the door, and duke it out until you have a solution.

And therein lies the problem. He didn’t know which was appropriate…and just as it had 4 hours ago, the anger started to swell.

Why couldn’t she just open up?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you laid in Matthew’s bed, smelling his pillow and wrapping yourself in one of his shirts, you cried until you drenched his side of the bed. How could you have been so blind to how he felt? Were you that out of touch with people? Were you really that thick-headed to have thought that your note would have worked?

Apparently your attempt at surprise romance had been nothing but a platform for fighting.

Great.

Out of tears to cry, you groan and flop back down into his side of the bed. Curling up in his comforter, you realize how truly empty this bed is. You can easily see how lonely he is at night. Because, honestly?

You are lonely, too.


	9. Drawer Or Closet?

Feeling your puffy eyes start to drift off, you bury your face in his pillow. You were too exhausted to be angry, and too hormonal to let it go. You didn’t know whether to call or leave him be, run to him or let him go, and the fact that you didn’t know served two purposes: 1) it served as an imaginary foundation for your frustration and, 2) it showed you a glimpse into how Matthew has been feeling.

And at that realization, your stomach sank.

Then, you heard the key in the lock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pacing around Shemar’s house, Matthew wracked his brain. He knew that you regularly needed your space, and that never became an issue once he started working…but this was different.

This was a fight. And this was a first.

“Matt!” Shemar yelled.

“Huh?” he looked at him, dazed.

“Dude, I’ve been talking for 10 minutes. You been listening?”

“Uh…no. I’m sorry. God, I don’t want to make her any angrier, but I don’t want her to feel alone.”

“Matt, I’m pretty sure the only one that was angry was you.”

And when he thought back to the fight, he realized that Shemar was right. He was the one that had yelled. He was the one that had stormed out, and now he was the one at fault for whatever feelings his decision to storm out arose within Y/N. And in his mind, he realized something. He realized that, no matter what had ever happened to her in her life; every tear, every accomplishment, every setback; that she had always been alone.

Well, not anymore.

Grabbing his keys from the table, he gathers his coat and runs out the door, leaving Shemar grinning on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Too tired to jump to your feet, you slowly prop yourself up on the bed. Glow or no glow, tonight you were exhausted.

As Matthew opens the door, he drops his keys on the floor and kicks his shoes to the corner. “Y/N?” he yells.

Sighing, and pulling his shirt closed over your bare chest, your face flushes with embarrassment as you call out, “in here, Matthew.”

As Matthew rounds the corner, he stops to take in your appearance. Puffy eyes, red cheeks and a stuffy nose. He takes a step towards you, then hesitates, wondering if he is making the right decision.

“It’s ok. I don’t bite.”

He comes and gingerly sits down beside you. “I-…is that my shirt?”

Feeling your face flush deeper, you slowly nod your head. “I’m sorry if my pooch is stretching it out. I can’t really hide my stomach any longer.”

Matthew was shocked at your stomach. He didn’t realize that you had started to show as much as you were. He could feel the growing tightness, whenever he hugged or touched you, but you always concealed it well under your clothes.

Raising his hand, he runs his fingers over your pooch. Tears springing to his eyes, he bends down and lightly kisses the top of your distended stomach.

You put your hand on the back of his head, wishing to God this night could restart. You pick up his face to meet your gaze.

“I am so sorry.”

As he takes you in his arms, slipping them under the shirt you are wearing, he holds you close, with your bare breasts pressed against his body.

“I am so sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t the dinner I swear…”

Stroking his hair, you shush him. “I know it wasn’t the dinner,” you coo. “And I need to tell you something.”

Bracing for impact, he lowers his gaze again, startled at the fact that he is met with your nipples instead of a bra.

Chuckling as his response, you take your finger and raise his gaze back up. “These past few months have been a whirlwind. And you have been so gracious and so generous and so…welcoming. You are beautiful. And talented. And kind. And funny. And quirky. You have kept your distance, and you haven’t pressured me to progress in any way into any relationship that I might have been uncomfortable with. You have been the perfect gentleman, when inside you were screaming. Crying. And alone.”

As tears spring to your eyes, you continue, “and I have felt that way for years. Screaming and crying and alone and dead inside. Until you happened. Until that party happened. Until that porch night happened. Until this…” you hold out your arms and look around the room, “…happened.”

You lower your lips to meet his, and as you pull back, you smile and lean your forehead into his.

“And I love you, too, Matthew.”

As he snaps his eyes to meet yours, a smile crosses his cheeks. He throws his body into yours, hugging you tight as you both topple onto the bed. Giggling and throwing around the comforter, you both snuggle down into the sheets.

It was then that you realize your top is still hanging open, so you quickly start to button it up. But as you do, he grabs your hand.

Furrowing your brow and looking over to him, Matthew’s gaze has shifted. He has gone from childlike and somber to…what was that?…

The only word you can find to describe it is: hungry.

His gaze is hungry.

As he runs his thumb over your cheek, he slowly scoots against your body. Leaning in to give you a kiss, he bypasses your lips and plants a soft, warm, wet kiss in the crook of your neck.

“You are beautiful,” he murmurs. Slowly covering your neck in kisses, he finds an area just under your ear that makes you jump, and slowly drags his teeth across it. Letting out a jagged breath, Matthew slips his hand in between the shirt and your skin and slowly runs his fingers up and down your pregnant belly, slowly finding your breast.

“You are addicting,” you whisper breathlessly.

And as he parts your legs, nestling in between them on his knees, he moves your hair from your face and looks straight into your eyes.

“Would you like the dresser drawer, or the closet?


	10. Work Family

You wake up to an empty bed, and your heart sinks. For a split second, you thought last night was a dream. A horrible, kamikaze, yet intimate dream.

And then you feel a slip of paper under your pillow.

_Good morning, beautiful._

_I got called into work this morning. I am so sorry I am not here to see you wake up. I’ll be back this evening. Dinner and a movie?_

_With all my love._

Smiling to yourself, you slowly raise your body out of bed. Looking over at the clock, you realize it’s almost 10 am...and as you slink over to the shower, an idea crosses your mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So…how did it go last night?” Shemar elbowed Matthew.

Grinning, he sighs. “It was perfect.”

As Shemar’s eyes widen, he implores for details. Following Matthew around, he begs for a summary.

“I never kiss and tell,” Matthew laughs as he picks up his script. The truth is, nothing had happened. You both moved your stuff from your room upstairs into his bedroom, and then you both fell asleep blissfully in each other’s arms. He kept recalling how warm your skin was, how soft your breathing was.

How comforting your body was.

“Hey, handsome,” Kirsten peeked around the corner. “We have our scene, and then lunch.”

“Wonderful, I’m starving,” Matthew says as he picks up his script.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking in the pull-down mirror one last time, you smoothed out your eyeliner and fiddled with your hair. You had finally gathered the confidence to wear some leggings and a sweater dress that showed off your delightful little pooch. And you were jittery, because after your first attempt at surprise, it ended in…well…last night.

But you thought surprising him for lunch would be alright.

As you walked up to the entrance of the studio, a bodyguard stopped you.

“ID, please.”

As you rummaged thru your purse, you pulled out your driver’s license. Smiling as he reads your name, the bodyguard steps to the side.

“Right this way, ma’am.”

As you walk down a long corridor, you hear chattering off in the distance. You took your time, not wanting to interrupt a scene in progress.

As you got to the corner, you stopped. You realized your hands were shaking, and your stomach was starting to flip again. But just as you were taking a deep breath for confidence, a familiar face comes around.

“Oh…sh-!” Shemar catches himself.

As you take a huge breath in, you stumble backwards and Shemar catches you. “Y/N!” he whispers loudly. “What are you doing here!?”

“I came to surprise Matthew for lunch,” you said, your hand over your heart.

“Oh, he is gonna love this,” Shemar says as he takes your hand and pulls you over to a dark corner.

As you lay your eyes on Matthew and a blonde, you smile, realizing that all too familiar character.

You were watching Matthew. Matthew and his passion. Matthew and his talent. Matthew and his life.

And that is when you realized that this was worth fighting for. This life, this man, and this family…it was worth fighting for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Aaaaaand, that’s lunch!” a guy behind a camera yelps. As Matthew sighs, the blonde shuffles him over to a group of people. As they are talking and laughing, Shemar looks your way.

“You ready?” he asks.

“I don’t know. What if they don’t…approve?” you drop your voice.

“At this point in Matt’s life, just seeing him this happy is enough for us,” Shemar coaxes.

Taking a deep breath, you start over towards the group with Shemar. And just as you go to open your mouth, he yells, “hey! Look who I found!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew must have held you for what seemed like hours. The moment he realized it was you, he came barreling towards you, swooped you off of your feet, and held you close.

“Matthew…my stomach…” you groaned.

“Oh, god!” Matthew yells, putting you down. His hands instantly drift to your little pooch. Getting down onto one knee, he presses his lips against your stomach. “Are you alright, little one?”

Smiling, you help him up and kiss him lightly. “I figured you had lunch plans, and I was wondering if I could join in. I…uh…sort of slept thru breakfast.”

“Oh, god, of course! Come on, let me introduce you to everyone.”

Nervousness crossing your face, he cups your face in his hand.

“They will love you. I promise.”

Ushering you over to the crowd, he begins the introductions. “Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Thomas, Joe, A.J., Paget, and Kirsten. You already know Shemar.”

As everyone chuckles and says their hellos, Paget takes your hand. “Don’t be nervous.”

Smiling lightly at her, you say, “It’s just…been a while.”

As everyone nods, you get a sense that Matthew has told them everything about you.

And by that, you also mean the death of your family.

Looking up at Matthew, you take his hand and pull him in close. As the questions start flooding, the one named Joe takes the reigns.

“I think the woman is hungry. Let’s get her and this growing munchkin something to eat. We can do questions later.”

Smiling at him, Joe offers you his arm. Taking it and releasing Matthew, he leads you towards the exit of the studio.

“Has Matthew ever told you the story about the time he kissed Shemar?”

As your eyes widen, Joe continues with the story as they meander off into the distance.

Thomas, coming up beside Matthew, crosses his arms. “She’s beautiful, Matthew.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“Are you scared?” Thomas turns to Matthew.

“Petrified,” Matthew sighs.

“Good. If you were anything else, I’d be worried,” Thomas says as he pats him on the back.

“I love her, Tom.”

“I know you do. And do you know what?”

Matthew looks over at him as Thomas swings his arm around Matthew’s shoulders. “She loves you, too.”

As Matthew smiles, the group ventures towards the exit. Watching you walk side-by-side with Joe, his heart flooded with joy. He hoped that these days would never stop, that these moments would never cease, and that these lunches would always be.


	11. For The Public

Here it was. The day had finally arrived.

Today was the day you would find out the gender.

And you both were a nervous wreck.

You feel in your gut that it’s a girl. At first, it felt wrong to call the little bean a “she,” but as you progressed, that feeling slowly shifted. And you were a little worried. Worried for stupid reasons, but worried nonetheless.

I mean, what man doesn’t want a son? It is primal…an evolutionary hangover that stirs within the deep loins of a man. Having a son is prideful…the ultimate show of testosterone and dominance.

And you were concerned that Matthew would be disappointed.

You had awakened that morning to Matthew making you breakfast. He had taken the day off from work so he could be with you. The appointment was at 11, and the little bean had been stubborn up until this point. You had prior appointments, but the little one kept flipping in the wrong direction, which was fine with you, considering the next stop was baby shopping.

Which brought you to another uneasy feeling: stepping out into public with Matthew.

Granted, it happened with lunches, but the displays of affection were nonexistent, and, to the papers, you were nothing but a friend.

But you knew once you stepped out to baby shop with him, that would change.

And you didn’t know how he felt about that. About that change.

You had been letting him take the reigns on this subject. After all, it’s his reputation and his public image at stake.

As Matthew sits down beside you in bed, he kisses you lightly on the cheek. “I am so anxious. These next two hours are going to be brutal.”

Smiling to yourself, you asked, “well, if the little one isn’t stubborn this time, would you like to start shopping around a bit?”

Matthew put his hand on your stomach and beamed. “I would love nothing more.”

Lowering your gaze towards your food, Matthew asks, “are you not hungry? Are you alright?”

“No…I mean, yes. I’m alright. But…”

And, once again, Matthew proved why you two were wonderful for each other.

“You are worried about the paparazzi. Seeing us baby shop in public.”

Snapping your gaze up to his, your jaw unhinged. “Oh, no! I mean, yes…but I was more concerned with the public…your fans…finding out that this is your child. That I’m not just a friend.”

Matthew furrows his brow. “I’ve been taking a slow pace with the public because I thought you were uncomfortable with the idea of having that attention on you.”

Your expression dropping, you suddenly realize what had been going on. As you giggle, you take Matthew’s face in your hands and wiggle his face side to side.

“Oh Matthew…we really have to work on our communication skills,” you cajoled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, you guys ready?” the doctor said as he came in. Dr. Kapowski was the best in the area, and he was very nonjudgmental about pregnancy and birthing decisions thus far in your journey. He was always prepared for the questions, and always provided wonderful reading material if you were still between options.

Taking a deep breath, you sigh. “Yes, we’re ready.”

As Matthew squeezes your hand, the doctor squirts the cold gloppy mess onto your stomach. As he starts in with the ultrasound wand, the face of your child comes into view.

“Oh, there she is,” you coo’d.

“Oh, so you feel that it’s a girl?” the doctor raised his eyebrows.

Flushing, Matthew squeezes your hand again. “She’s nervous. We have finally hit 22 weeks, and now she is comfortable buying things, and she is anxious to know what colors to buy.”

Honestly? You were more relieved. Hitting the 22 week mark meant that if something were to happen, the NICU in the area had an 85% chance of intervening and allowing the child to thrive…and that percentage went up to 95% once you hit 30 weeks.

As you felt the stress leave your body, your stomach relaxed, and you felt this huge flop that took your breath away.

And there, on the screen, was a baby girl.

As the doctor starts snapping pictures and labeling body parts, you look over at Matthew and smile.

“Well, it looks the momma was right,” the doctor said smiling.

“It’s a girl.”

Tears welling in your eyes, you look over at Matthew. Completely mesmerized by the screen, his hand drifts to the ultrasound monitor. Lightly caressing the picture of his baby girl, tears spring to his eyes.

Taking in a ragged breath and smiling, he says, “Hello, Angel.”

As you whip your head towards him, tears drop from his cheeks as he smiles down at you. “Angel Marilyn. I-is…is that alright?”

As tears spill down your cheek in streams, you grab Matthew’s collar and draw him in for a kiss. Your mother’s name combined. Oh, how fitting.

“It’s perfect,” you smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you both leave the doctor’s office, ultrasound photos in hand, you giggle at Matthew already calling his friends. Celebrating over the phone, time and time again, Matthew takes your hand and plants a kiss on your cheek.

And out of nowhere, you see a flash..

Flash. Flash flash.

Flash.

As a mob of people with cameras descend upon you, questions are being thrown from all corners.

“Matthew, who is this!?”

“I thought this was just a friend!?”

“Matthew, is this your baby!!??”

Stunned and unable to move, Matthew wraps his arm around your ever-growing waist and hustles you towards the car. Getting you in, he slams the door and runs around, cranking the car and speeding out of the parking lot.

A dazed look on your face, Matthew takes your hand.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

Looking over at him, you nod slowly. “It was just…unexpected.”

Matthew tightens his hand around yours, desperate to get you to stop shaking. As he slowly pulls into the first baby store he sees, he turns and puts his arm on your shoulder.

“If you would rather do this online…or another day…I totally understand.”

Putting your palm to his cheek, you give him a weak grin. “I need to get used to this. Just like you had to whenever it first started happening to you. Just…hold me close. Tell me it’s alright. And I’ll be ok.”

Leaning into your ear, Matthew whispers, “Always.”

Smiling, you turn quickly and kiss his nose. As he gets out and comes around to your car door, you see more camera flashes. Stepping out, he shuts the door behind you and holds you close.

“I love you, Y/N,” he says in your ear as he kisses your cheek and ushers you into the baby store.

Getting into the store, Matthew releases his grip, and as you both slowly venture your way to the back of the store where the baby furniture is, you turn to him and pull him close.

“I love you, too, Matthew,” you smile.


	12. Shower Time

As the doorbell rang, you rolled yourself off of the couch. Matthew promised to try his best to be here for the furniture, but said they would probably arrive before he made it.

After all, you were a blimp in your third trimester, and his nerves were washing away any sense he may have had as a human being. He wanted to be there for everything, and the man was running himself ragged.

At 6.5 months, your feet are starting to swell, and the exhaustion is setting back in again. Sleeping is now close to impossible, and very uncomfortable, since you couldn’t sleep on your stomach or go 3 hours without having to pee. And to throw caution to the wind, your back started to give way as well.

And you still had two more months.

Ugh.

Opening the door, the delivery man greets you with a grunt. “Are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

Grinning lightly, you nod. As the delivery man starts to rattle off all of the baby furniture for delivery, you see a car tear into the yard. Stumbling out, Matthew catches himself as he forgets to close his car door, running up the driveway.

Cutting the delivery man off with your laughter, Matthew huffs, out of breath.

“I’m here…to help…”

Getting him inside the house, you look back at the delivery man and say, “it’s alright. If something is forgotten we can reschedule for it.” You felt bad for him having to deliver so much at once, and as you see relief caress his face, you decided you would try to convince him to take a tip before he left.

As the delivery men hauled the furniture back into the nursery, Matthew sighed. “I’m so glad we had it delivered. Now I won’t have to put it together.”

Chuckling to yourself, you know damn good and well you would’ve been stuck putting it together yourself.

You were excited about putting the nursery together. The baby shower was this evening, and you would actually have places to put things. Sniffing the air, you realize the cake is done.

Kissing Matthew on the cheek, you shuffle into the kitchen. Opening the oven, you shakily take out the cake, set it on the stove, and hit your knees.

“Y/N!” Matthew yells as he runs over to you.

Breathing deep, Matthew helps you up and over to the couch.

“Y/N. What’s wrong?”

Blinking rapidly, you realize you had forgotten to eat breakfast.

“I-I’m…I didn’t eat.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Matthew kisses your lips lightly. “Well, I have good news.”

As he walks off to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, he says, “We have officially hit summer break.”

Whipping your head around, you didn’t know if you heard him right.

“What?”

As Matthew turns around, a smile overtaking his face, he sits the sandwich on your lap. “Eat,” he demands.

Taking a bite, saliva filling your mouth, your eyes start to glisten.

“You mean I have your for an entire month?”

“No. Two months. Well…no quite two. 7 weeks, to be exact.”

Stopping your eating, you throw your arms around him and hold him close. 7 weeks of wonderful mornings, foot massages, dinner for two, lunch outings, and movie marathons.

And you couldn’t wait.

As Matthew pulls you away, he holds the sandwich up to your face, and staring into your eyes with a very intent expression, he says, “Eat, Y/N.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the bathroom, you hear the doorbell ring. As you hear Matthew laugh and embrace the guests, you slip on your pink and yellow maxi dress.

“I look like cotton candy on a stick,” you mutter to yourself. It wasn’t so much of a baby shower as it was a celebration with presents. No alcohol and no caffeine, much to your protests for the guests, was insisted upon by Matthew. “If you can’t do it, neither will they. Not in this house.”

It was addicting, how sweet he was.

As you fluffed your hair, you put the finishing touches on of your make-up and started out of the room.

“Oh, Y/N!” Joe comes over and kisses you on your cheek. “You look phenomenal.”

“I’m already sweating,” you chuckled as your voice dropped. “I look like a condensating blimp.”

“You look fantastic!” Kirsten shouts as she comes toward you, arms outstretched for a hug. “Absolutely radiant!”

“Thank you so much,” you smile. You were excited for the party. You had made good friends in Kirsten and Joe, and you were excited to be able to talk with them outside of a work environment.

As the three of you congregated in a corner, you feel Angel jump. Taking a deep breath, Matthew catches your expression and walks over to you.

“Are you alright? Did you forget to eat again?” he coos, bending over to help you stay steady.

“I think she is as excited for the party as we are,” you laugh, taking Matthew’s hand and putting it on your stomach. As Angel kicks outwards, Joe and Kirsten shoot their hands out as well.

“Oh my god!” Kirsten squeals.

“How beautiful,” Joe smiles.

Giggling with Matthew, his face flushes with pride as everyone else comes over to try and catch a feel of their new addition to their family.

Seeing Matthew beam with pride at his unborn child sent a shiver down your spine.

And yet…this shiver was different. It elicited a warmth that not only ricocheted thru your back, but also thru your core.

Looking him in his eyes, you saw not a stranger, not a star, and not even a partner.

You saw a lover. A handsome, toned, beautifully quirky man.

And your core burned for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slipping your dress down the floor, you were relieved to be free. It had been a long time since you had truly been naked, always keeping your decency in case Matthew slipped in, and having that privacy to unleash your body was important. You weren’t lying to Joe, you had been sweating the entire time at the party. Carrying around all of this extra weight was brutal on your core, and you couldn’t wait to feel the cleansing water rush over your bloated body.

Hearing a knock at the door, you hold your robe up to you. “Yes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll go to the other bathroom.”

Feeling guilty for kicking him out of his own bathroom, you say, “If you want to wait a second, I will be in the shower, and the curtain will block me out, you know…if you want to get in here for something specific. I mean, something that isn’t a shower. Obviously.”

Chuckling behind the door, Matthew said, “Alright. Thank you, that’s very kind.”

Running the water to get it to the right temperature, you step into the beautiful walk-in shower and close the door. You still couldn’t get over how truly big the shower was. I mean, you could safely lay down and spread out in it.

Blushing as ideas ran rampant thru your mind, you drew the optional curtain. “You’re all clear,” you yell over the running water, and as you hear the turning of the doorknob, your skin still starts to crawl with…

What was that…?

Anticipation…?

Weird.

As you hear Matthew turn on the sink, you start to wash your hair. Feeling the hot water run down your body, you don’t realize the light moans and groans you are making.

“Alright, Y/N, you’re gonna be in trouble if you don’t stop.”

Pausing, realizing what you are doing, you flush. “I’m so sorry…it just…feels really good.”

You two always joked around like that, but nothing every became of it. You didn’t know why, but you were afraid to ask. So, you took to the assumption that he was waiting for a go ahead from you. After all, he wouldn’t kiss a woman he didn’t find attractive, right?

“I bet it does, I saw you starting to glisten by the end of the party. You should’ve let me do the footwork.”

“Oh, it’s alright. I actually enjoyed playing the hostess,” you smiled to yourself. “I’ll settle for a foot massage, though.”

“Anything you need.”

You could feel Matthew’s smile radiate from the other side of the shower. You were startled when you found yourself wishing he was in the shower with you. It scared you, honestly. You never felt this way before, and you knew your libido would kick into overdrive thru your last trimester, but this?

This was different. It was a basic, furious, fiery need in the pit of your stomach.

Taking a deep breath, you say, “Are you going to need a shower, too?”

“Don’t worry about saving the hot water, I can take one in the morning.”

Disappointed by the lack of a window, you try again. “Are you sure? I mean, I could step out and you could, you know, step right on in.”

_God, I’m shit at this._

As Matthew laughs, he says, “I promise, Y/N. Take your time.”

Sighing, Matthew catches the disappointment. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You sound…sad.”

Closing your eyes, you softly beat your head against the shower wall. “How could I be sad with all of this beauty surrounding us?”

Furrowing his brow, Matthew backs off. “Alright. But…you would tell me if something was wrong, right?”

As a knot forms in the pit of your stomach, you realize that, if you wanted this…if you truly wanted this…talking to him wasn’t going to get it.

Conjuring up all of the strength and confidence you can muster, you throw back the shower curtain. As Matthew whips himself around, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, it drops to the floor as his jaw unhinges.

“Come take a shower with me, Matthew.”

As Matthew takes in your skewed form from the frosted shower glass, he picks up his toothbrush, banging his head against the counter, and quickly rinses out his mouth.

“Y/N…are you sure?” he looks at your reflection from the mirror.

And it was then, as you slowly reached your hand for the shower door, that it was never the nakedness that you craved for freedom. Pushing the door open, and swinging it towards Matthew, there you stood. In your nakedness. In your wetness. In your pregnant body…your chest glistening and your thighs aching and your feet swollen…that you realized that your clothes weren’t caging you. They never had been.

It was your longing for him that was meant to be set free. Your feelings and your sexualities and your pleasures…your dreams and your aches and your teases…it was caging those inside that was keeping you from being free.

And as Matthew stepped into the shower and let the water run over his beautiful body, it was then that you realized you would never come back.

It was then that you realized you were his.


	13. Say My Name

“Good morning, beautiful.”

As you wrestle around under the covers and stretch out your aching muscles, your foggy mind begins to recount last evenings’ events. As a smile crosses your face, you turn over and are met with Matthew’s mesmerizing eyes.

“Mmmm…morning, handsome.”

Kissing him on the nose, you snuggle into his warm body. You love how tall he is, because his torso bends to your stomach, making you feel even more beautiful naked, in his arms.

“Last night was amazing,” he grumbled into your hair.

Giggling, you wrap your arms around him. “Last night was…a giant leap of faith,” you chuckle to yourself.

“Well,” he tilts your head up to his, “I am glad you chose to take it.”

Matthew hears your stomach growl and frowns. Helping you sit up in bed, he says, “I have a proposition.”

“Oh?” you say, raising your eyebrows.

“There is a diner across town that makes everything homemade. It is delicious, and I believe we are both starving,” he suggests.

“That sounds fantastic!” As reality sets in, you furrow your brow. “But…will you be ok with battling the cameras?”

As he cups his face in your hands, he lowers his voice. “I have been doing this for years, that question doesn’t reside with me…it resides with you.”

Feeling a little worried about it, you decide to give it another go. “Ok,” you say.

“Ok?” Matthew repeats.

“Yes. Ok.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pulling up to the diner, it was pretty easy to see that a couple of cars had been following you. Taking a deep breath, Matthew gets out, runs to your side to open your door, and helps you out of the car. As flashes and questions fly from all angles, he wraps his arm around your waist and guides you into the diner.

Taking a deep breath as the door closes on them, the hostess comes around and pulls the curtains on all of the windows. She turns and smiles at you both, and asks, “Where would you two like to sit today?”

“A booth would be wonderful,” you respond.

As the hostess leads the way towards the back of the diner, your stomach lets out another growl. As your face reddens with embarrassment, Matthew leans into the waitress and whispers something.

“What did you ask her?” you inquire.

“I asked her for two waters and a quick appetizer for the table. Whatever the had made up already.”

Smiling at him, you take his hand. You have no idea how you two got from his porch that night to the back of a diner after making love, but you weren’t about to start questioning it now.

After all, the true test would come in a couple of months.

As the waitress brings the waters, she sets down a bowl of chips and salsa, with some queso on the side. As your eyes widen, you dig in with Matthew, who you realize is just as ravenous as you are. Looking back at him, you giggle as you take your finger and wipe some cheese from the corner of his mouth.

“Do you two lovebirds know what you’d like?” the waitress asks.

As you jump, startled, Matthew laughs at your lack of observation and says, “I’ll have the two egg breakfast with sausage and a side order of pancakes.”

“Ooooooh, that sounds good. I’ll have the same,” you chime in.

“How would you two like your eggs?”

“Scrambled,” you say in unison.

“I’ll get that order up soon!”

As she saunters away, you feel Matthew’s foot slowly dancing around your leg. Blushing, you yank your feet away and turn your gaze to your lap. Matthew worries that he has done something wrong, until he sees a smile creep up from under your bowed head.

You hear him shuffle, and as you look up you realize he is sitting beside you. Threading his arm around your waist, he pulls you close and kisses the top of your head.

“Wanna drive some fans crazy?” he asks.

Confused as to what he means, he takes out his camera and faces it toward you both. Leaning his head into yours, he says, “Smile!”

Taking a picture, he opens up his social media on his phone and begins to type.

“What are you doing!?” you gasp. “I look horrible in that picture!”

Pausing his actions, he looks back at you and sighs. “You could never look horrible, Y/N. Not in this reality.”

Stunned, he tips his phone towards you to show what he has written, and posted onto his Twitter feed is your picture with the caption, “Two more months to go!”

As the comments start to roll in from all directions, and the congratulations emanate from his fans, you smile as you look down at your growing stomach. It was weird how much it meant that they cared. These strangers that were adorning a child they would never meet with well wishes and beautiful sentiments. It was overwhelming.

In a good way, but overwhelming.

As you see your stomach jump, you snatch Matthew’s hand and put it next to your belly button. As Angel continues to jump, neither of you realize that the waitress has already delivered your food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh my god, that food!” you reel as you flop down onto the couch. “It was amazing, Matthew. Thank you for taking me.”

“Anytime, and anywhere,” he says, smiling.

Patting the couch cushion next to you, Matthew comes and sits. As you nestle your head into the crook of his neck, you slip your hand into his.

“These past few weeks have been incredible,” you sigh.

“I know…I hate to return to work on Monday.”

“It’s been wonderful having you around here, but I know you miss the work and the projects,” you lower your voice.

“But I miss you more,” he whispers as he buries his face into your hair.

As your eyes start to well up with tears, you curse your hormones as you pull yourself away from Matthew. Turning your head and wiping your tears away, you slowly edge yourself to the end of the couch and stand.

Matthew takes your hand again, and you apologize. You didn’t mean to get so emotional. It wasn’t something to get so emotional over.

You were just going to miss him, that’s all.

“Talk to me, Y/N,” Matthew pleads.

“It’s nothing. I’m just being stupidly emotional over things getting back to normal. It’s been so wonderful having you here, taking such a huge step in our relationship and then…”

“…and then having to return to normal?”

Smiling weakly, you reply, “Exactly.”

As Matthew gets up and stands next to you, he pulls you close and leans his forehead into yours. “We aren’t backtracking. Nothing has changed with us. I will just be working again, that’s all.”

You cursed under your breath for becoming so emotional over something so trivial. What was wrong with you?

“God, I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” you yell, throwing your hands in the air, tears cascading down your face. “This isn’t something to be upset about. It’s just work!”

As you storm into the bedroom, Matthew looks on helplessly. A worried expression crossing his face, he slowly follows you into the bedroom.

“What can I do?” he whispers? “What can I do to make this better?”

The tears still flowing, you have no idea. You are crying for no reason, other than you feel the compulsion to cry. As your frustration wells up inside of you, the tears continue to fall in an awful circle of emotional turmoil.

“I don’t know!” you throw your hands up. “I don’t know why I’m crying and it’s frustrating and my frustration is producing more tears!”

As Matthew’s soul aches to watch you cry, he throws caution to the wind. He hustles towards you, holds you tightly in his arms, and crashes a kiss into your lips.

Moaning, you throw your arms around his neck. As you part your lips, accepting his tongue, he holds you tight and picks you up.

Tossing you onto the bed, he crawls desperately over you, voraciously sucking on your neck, feeling you writhe beneath him.

Letting out groans and gasps, he rips your shirt over your head, pawing at your skin and marking his territory with every desperate kiss he lands.

Pinning your hands to the bed, he kisses the tear trails away, and as he looks into your eyes with that predatory stare, he dips his lips down and whispers into your ear:

“Say my name.”


	14. Angel

You are finally back into the swing of things. Matthew has been back at work, you have been cleaning and getting things ready for the baby, and doing a little bit of shopping for diapers and other trinkets you think might do the baby some good. You are 8 months along, with a due date set for September 4th. Matthew was even planning a Halloween costume for you all.

Now you just had to wait.

You decided you would go out that afternoon and get a pedicure. Matthew had told you that it was going to be a short day, and he always had Saturday evenings and Sundays off, so you were looking forward to the time with him.

Venturing off to the spa, you had scheduled a manicure, pedicure, and waxing for all sorts of places. You wanted to feel nice a beautiful for him this weekend, since you had been living in sweat pants and pregnancy shirts for the last month. You knew from the way he looked at you that he thought you were beautiful anyway, but a nice surprise wouldn’t hurt.

As you turn off of the road onto the highway, you fiddle with the radio to turn the music on. And just as you go to look up, you hear a car horn, the crunch of metal, and everything goes black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Matthew! Phone call! They say it’s urgent!” the director shouts.

As Matthew trots over to the phone, he looks at his cell to see if he has gotten any messages.

“Hello?” he says.

“Mr. Gubler? This is Dr. Klein.”

Pausing, Matthew’s palms start to sweat. “Is everything alright, Doctor?”

“Do you know a Mrs. Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

Matthews face grows pale. “What’s happened?”

“You need to get to the hospital now, Mr. Gubler. There’s been an accident.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sliding his car into a parking spot, Matthew and Shemar jump out and rush into the emergency side door. Matthew runs up to the desk and grabs the shoulder of the nurse sitting down.

“Where is Y/N?”

Knowing who he is talking about, she ushers Matthew to sit down as she pages the doctor. “Have a seat, the doctor will be in to speak with you.”

“Where is she!?” Matthew yells. Tears streaming down his cheeks, Shemar takes him by the shoulders and guides him to a chair.

As the doctor walks thru the double doors, he spots Matthew and sits down in front of him.

“Mr. Gubler?”

As Matthew looks up at the doctor, he fumes. “Tell me what’s going on now.”

“What you need to remember is that she is alive. They both are.”

Relief flooding Matthew’s body, he shudders as he begins to sob.

“Do you want to see your baby girl?”

As Shemar’s grip tightens on Matthew’s knee, Matthew’s gaze slowly moves up to meet the doctor’s. “A-Angel…? But…but she’s only 8 months along…?”

“We had to deliver the baby. It was imperative so that Y/N could be rushed into surgery.”

“Surgery!?” Matthew jumps up. “Where is Y/N? Where is Angel!?”

As Matthew starts to hyperventilate, the nursing staff rushes over to give him oxygen. Setting him down in a wheelchair, Shemar grabs his face.

“Pull it together. They are alive, and they needs you. Both Y/N and Angel. Now more than ever.”

“Can we see her? Angel, I mean?” Shemar asks the doctor.

As the doctor gets behind Matthew to push, he says, “right this way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing in front of the NICU window, Shemar helps Matthew prep to go in and see Angel. Putting on the scrubs and hair net, Matthew realizes Shemar isn’t prepping.

“Aren’t you coming?” Matthew asks sheepishly.

“This is the first time you’re meeting your baby girl,” Shemar smiles, “this is solely a daddy moment.”

“B-but…what…what about a godfather moment?”

As Shemar stands there stunned, tears crest the corners of his eyes. “The honored godfather will have a moment…after the father does.”

Grabbing Matthew’s shoulders, Shemar gives him a huge hug.

“Go get ‘er.”

Matthew walks into the NICU, shuffling over to Angel’s little bed. The nurse attending there asks, “do you want to hold her?”

Looking up at her with glistening eyes, he swallows hard. “I-…is she ok?”

The nurse grins and says, “She’s perfect. Even though she was born at 36 weeks, she probably won’t even need a NICU stay.”

As the nurse bends down to pick her up, she looks at Matthew and says, “she’s strong.” Handing her to Matthew, tears run down his cheeks as he coddles her into his body. Opening her eyes a little, Angel curls into the warmth of Matthew’s body.

Bending down, he kisses her lightly on her forehead. “Just like her mother,” he whispers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After 5 hours of surgery, you are finally wheeled into a recovery room. You had a battered face, a broken nose, a fractured rib, multiple lacerations, 22 stitches, and one hell of a headache. As you slowly come to, your hand drifts to your stomach, trying to feel for the bulbous protrusion that is no longer there.

Panic setting in, you try to raise yourself up. Gasping in pain, you yell out.

“Matthew! Matthew! Angel?!”

As the nurses come rushing in, they try to pin you back to the hospital bed. Using your arms to try and wave them off, one of them gives you a sedative into your IV.

“Rest,” one of the nurses says.

“We should go get him,” another one says.

And as all of the voices fade into the background, it’s black once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nurses bring in a rocking chair for Matthew to sit in with Angel as you are waking up. Matthew walks into the room, holding onto Angel tight as he takes in your appearance.

Sitting at your side with a sleeping baby, he takes your hand and sobs.

“Oh, Y/N,” he chokes. “Oh my god…”

As you grunt in pain, your eyes flutter open.

“Y/N? Y/N, I’m here.” he rubs his hand across your forehead. “Angel’s here. Oh, she’s beautiful, Y/N.”

As you blink rapidly, trying to process everything around you, flashes of the accident come rushing back to your memory.

“Oh my god,” you say, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Matthew, there’s been an accident…” you croak.

“I know,” he whispers in your ear, kissing it lightly. “You are in the hospital. They had to deliver Angel. She’s alright, and so are you. Sh-She’s…perfect. Do you want to see her?”

Tears flooding the crevices of your neck, Matthew stands and lays Angel’s head on your breast, moving your arms so that you can hold her properly.

Sobbing to yourself, you lean down and kiss her chubby little cheeks. “I am so sorry, Angel,” you choke out in between sobs. “I am so, so sorry.”

And as Matthew sits there with you, tears running down his face, looking from his beautiful daughter to his beautiful lover, he breathes a shaky sigh of relief. Cradling one arm under yours and wrapping the other around the top of your head, he buries his face into your hair.


	15. Common Ground

2 weeks.

It had been 2 miserable weeks in the hospital.

2 weeks of sleepless nights, heart rate machines, fights with Matthew, parenting differences, troubles breastfeeding, sore appendages, dissolving stitches, and healing bruises.

And you were done.

Done and ready to go home.

You cried, you screamed, you had nightmares…the works. But there was something else there.

Something lurking…something at the base of your anger and your resentment and your fighting and your sleeplessness.

So, for the first time since your stay there, after Matthew had left for the cafeteria, crying for the third time that week, you pressed the little red nurses button.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello, my name is Dr. Matton,” the soothing woman said. “I hear you are having…some troubles.”

Gripping Angel close to you, invisible tears from emptied ducts turn your eyes red. “I…I’m angry.”

“I would assume so,” the woman lulled.

As Matthew sniffed, he slowly shuffled in. “Y/N? Is everything alright…?”

Whipping your head up to him, fear crosses your face. As the woman looks over her shoulder, she gets up and crosses over to Matthew.

“I think it would be best if you sat outside. I think you…make her uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable? Impossible. What’s going on? What’s wrong now?” Matthew raises his voice.

“I will let you know if there is something to be alarmed about,” the woman coos, shuffling Matthew out of the room and locking the door behind him.

And as he stands in the middle of the hallway, watching Thomas cross the waiting room, he wonders how things went so wrong…how things went so dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Talk to me,” the woman puts a hand on your shoulder.

“I can’t stop crying…Matthew makes me eat…I…” you kiss Angel on her forehead as your arms start to tremble. “I don’t sleep…I don’t want to give Angel to Matthew…I…I’m so mad at him…”

“Why? What has Matthew done? Has he hurt you in any way?”

Shock washing over your face, you squeal, “Good God, no! But…it’s like I don’t trust him with her. And the crying…it happens for no reason…and I did so much research on PPD…”

As the woman throws her head back and laughs, you look at her confused. “W-what…did I say?”

Putting her hand over yours, she says, “Sweetheart, you are not depressed. Nowhere near it. Women who have PPD have issues with self-harming, or wanting to harm their child. You, my dear, are rattled with guilt.”

Hearing that word made your stomach turn, and all at once, the emotions you had tried so hard to ignore and alleviate came pouring…no, plunging…from your body.

“But the wreck was my fault! I was the one fiddling with the radio! I am the reason she didn’t carry to term! I am the reason Matthew hates me! I am the reason that we didn’t get to see her or hold her or hear her first cry. It’s my fault that we have been in this damned hospital for 2 weeks instead of at home with his family who have yet to see her!!”

Yanking your IV out of your hand, the psychiatrist pages the nurses to come help. As blood drips down your hand, Matthew rushes in behind everyone and scoops up little Angel.

And as they give you a shot to help you calm down, Matthew stares at you in shock, while little Angel nestles into his chest, calm and asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s going to happen to her?” Matthew asks the psychiatrist.

“Nothing, my dear,” she soothes as she puts a hand on Matthew’s arm. “She is feeling guilty. She’s just grieving in the only way she knows how. She is a new mother, in a place that isn’t her home, sleeping no more than 3 hours a night, and not taking her pain medication in order to provide for Angel what she feels she took away when the accident occurred.”

“A-and what’s that?” Matthew stammers.

“Protection. It’s why she won’t hand Angel over. It’s why she won’t take her pain medication so she can breastfeed. It’s why she won’t let you take her during the nights so she can sleep. She feels responsible for everything that happened, even though she _knows_ the driver behind the truck that caused the crash was drunk. And she will continue to grieve until she feels like an adequate mother again.”

Tears cresting his eyes, he holds Angel close. “What can I do?”

Smiling, Dr. Matton squeezes Matthew’s arm. “Exactly what you’re doing now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Matthew walks back into your room with a crying Angel, you whip your head around and hold out your arms.

“Come here, my sweetheart. I know you’re hungry,” you coo to her.

As Matthew sits on the corner of your bed, he hands Angel over and smiles. “The doctor says that once your psychiatric papers are processed, we can go home.”

Feeling a flood of relief cascade down your body, you shiver. “Matthew, I…”

Moving close to you, he dips his face into yours and kisses your lips lightly. “You are a wonderful, strong, independent, beautiful, intelligent woman…and Angel is so lucky to have you as a mother.”

Leaning your forehead into Matthew’s, you start to sob again as Angel eats. “My god, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for ruining everything. Our birth plan, our due date, your family being here…my god, I am so sorry.”

And as you both cry together from the pain of a common wound, Matthew scoots you over and lays down beside you on the bed, holding you while you hold Angel.


	16. What A Twist

Home.

You couldn’t believe it. As Matthew pulls into the driveway, he reaches over and grabs your hand. "Home, sweet home,“ he smiles.

Looking over at him, you give him a kiss on the cheek. But you noticed something a little off. Something that didn’t seem normal for a new mother arriving home.

A lack of cars.

“Matthew? Isn’t your family supposed to be here?” you inquired.

“I told them that they would have to wait, that you needed time and space and sleep.”

“Oh, Matthew,” you cup his face, “hand me your phone.”

Opening up his phone, you dial his mother’s number, holding the phone to your ear.

“Matthew! Did you guys get home safely? How is Y/N? How is Angel?” his mother rattles off.

“Hello, grandma” you say.

“Y/N!” she squeals. “How are you feeling?”

Looking over at Matthew, you smile and say, “Why don’t you come see for yourself? I expect you here tomorrow morning.”

As silence graces the end of the phone line, Matthew leans his forehead into the side of your head. Hearing a light sniffle on the other end of the phone, you hear his mother say, “We will come with breakfast.”

Grabbing Matthew’s hand, he pulls you in close. “Thank you,” he whispers into your hair. And just as Matthew goes to kiss your lips, Angel starts to grunt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking from a light nap, you feel a hand on your arm. Fluttering your eyes open, you get a glance of Marilyn’s smiling face.

“May I hold her?”

Smiling at Matthew’s mom, you say, “You can have her. Is it alright if I go lay down? I pumped some bottles and they're in the fridge in case she gets hungry.”

“You can go do whatever you please,” Matthew’s father said from over your head. “You’ve earned it.”

As his father bends over and lightly kisses the top of your head, you sit up and hand Angel to her grandmother and slowly make your way for the bedroom.

It was high time you, and your incision, got some rest.

Laying down in bed, Matthew knocks on the door. “Y/N?”

Groaning, you sit up and look towards the door, “Yes, sweetheart?”

Smiling lightly, he opens the door with a tray of food. “They said they would come with breakfast.”

Patting the bed next to you, Matthew sits the tray of food down and climbs in beside you. Bacon and eggs and a biscuit and some orange juice. You sniffed the air as your mouth started to salivate, your stomach turning loops with hunger.

“Tell them I said ‘thank you’,” you said.

“I will leave you be, so you can eat in peace and get some rest.”

Taking Matthew’s hand in yours, you look him in his eyes. “Thank you for being the strong, beautiful rock I know you to be. I know that you didn’t get your birth plan either, nor did you get to experience the things that I grieved over in the hospital. It was unfair of me to displace that anger on you, knowing that you hadn’t had any of these firsts either.”

Watching Matthew’s face flush with emotion, he kisses the top of your hand. “Nothing else mattered after the doctor told me you two were alive. I have no idea what I would have done had anything happened to Angel…or to you.”

Cupping his face in your hand, you run your thumb over his cheek. “I love you, Matthew.”

“I love you, too, Y/N.”

Then he left you to eat. And boy, was it grand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up to a soft nuzzle in your neck. Feeling a yawn on your back, you roll over and are met with a sleepy-eyed Matthew. Furrowing your brow, he kisses you on the tip of your nose.

“Morning, beautiful.”

Morning?

“Breakfast is ready!” you hear Matthew’s sister call.

Breakfast!?

Jumping out of bed, you feel a singe of pain crest thru your abdomen. Doubling over, Matthew throws his arm around you to keep you from falling off of the bed.

“Y/N, it’s ok. You slept the day and evening away. Don’t panic. We had plenty of milk and my parents got up with Angel during the night.”

His voice was soothing in your ear. Pressing your temple against his lips, he coos and murmurs sweet nothings to try and calm you down.

“I didn’t want to take advantage of them like that,” you say, getting up to find your robe.

“Advantage? Y/N, they are in heaven right now,” Matthew chuckles.

Grinning back at him, your stomach rumbles. “Well, if Angel is going to be fed, I need to be fed.”

Hopping out of bed and walking over to you, Matthew wraps his arms around your waist. “Then one big, hearty breakfast coming up. For both the ladies in my life.”

As you stand on your tiptoes to give him a kiss, he puts his finger to your lips. “Under one condition.”

Raising an eyebrow, you scoot your face closer, touching your nose to his. “And what is it that I need to do to get some food around here?” you joke, winking at him.

And pressing his lips lightly against yours, he whispers, “Marry me.”


	17. Yes

“What!?” you exclaimed.

As Matthew chuckles, he walks over to his drawer and pulls out a little red box. As your eyes widen, you are rendered speechless as Matthew slowly dips down onto one knee.

“Y/N, you came into my life like a whirlwind. You stood on my porch that night and not only announced that you were pregnant, but that you had given me a legal way out. So that I could continue my life. And then this…all of this…happened because you allowed me the chance to try this out. To try and have a family, and to try and be a good father, even though I was still a stranger to you. You continued to allow me the opportunity to continue my life the way I chose to at every fork in the road and every decision that we ever came across. And when I thought I lost you…” Matthew chokes up, squeezing your hand. “…when I was in the hospital with Angel, waiting for you to return from surgery, all I could think about was how you had made all of these sacrifices in your life so that I could continue to live in mine.”

As your lip quivers and your body shakes, he continues. “And now, I want to give you the chance to make a decision with yours. You don’t have to answer now, it’s why I haven’t opened the box. This is yours,” Matthew hands the unopened ring box to you, “this is my life. My success. My career. My family. My love. My respect. My admiration. My appreciation. This is everything. And if you want it, it’s yours.”

Swallowing hard, he continues, “and if you do not want it…if this was never in the plan, I will not be angry. I will purchase a home for you around here, somewhere, so that you can stay close. We can have joint custody of Angel, and you can continue to live your life the way that you see fit, to find whatever man you wish to have in your life. And I will not be angry. I will not be judgmental, and I will not be sad. Because you gave me Angel, and for that I will always be grateful.”

As Matthew places the ring box in your hand, you look down at it with tears streaming down your cheeks. You reach out and yank Matthew to his feet and wrap his beautiful lips up within yours. “Oh, Matthew,” you sigh into the kiss. And as you go to respond, he puts his fingers to your lips.

“You always gave me time to think, to weigh my options, and to choose. This time, you get the same courtesy.”

And with that, he left the room and shut the door.

And you were left stunned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what did she say!?” his sister whispered to him.

“Spill the beans, dude!” his brother smacked him on the back.

As his mother and father smile at him, cooing over Angel, he just smiles.

“I told you I was going to give her the same choice that she gave me,” he responds.

And as his brother and sister huff away, his father comes around and puts his arm around him.

“Son,” his father says, “I couldn’t be prouder.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning on the shower, you slowly get in. Still dazed from the events of the morning, you start washing your hair as the memories from the last 9 months come wafting back into your reality. The night on the porch. The fight with his family. The day you moved into his home. The first time you made love…all of it leading to this very moment.

And you were ecstatic.

Somehow, in one drunken night of unabandoned pleasure and wall-collapsing, you went from being the weak and vulnerable Y/N to being the queen of your castle. There had never been a moment, in any of it, where you ever doubted Matthew’s courage, integrity, trust, or respect. It was the first time you had ever truly been in love.

And it was perfect.

Washing your body as the conditioner sets in your hair, you hear a knock at the door.

“Yes?” you call out.

As the door slowly opens, you see Matthew’s frosty figure move thru the bathroom door. Stopping to look at what was probably the red box on the bathroom counter, he turns to face the shower door. Hesitant, strong, and sturdy, you watch as he slowly reaches for the door handle of the shower.

And before he can reach it, you push it open, conditioner still in your hair and soap dripping down your back.

“Come shower with me,” you lower your voice, a sly grin on your face. And as Matthew strips his clothes and steps into the shower, he takes you in his arms and wraps your legs around his waist, pinning you against the wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giggling as the shower water starts to run cold, Matthew helps you rinse your hair as you clamor to shut the water off. Shivering, Matthew helps you out and wraps you up in a plush, warm towel. Kissing your soaking wet forehead, he reaches for a towel for himself.

“I'll let you get ready. Everyone’s coming over to see Angel, and to check on you,” Matthew informs.

Smiling, you look down at your feet, “That sounds wonderful.”

“You know, my family heads out tomorrow...” Matthew trails off.

Your shoulders dropping a little, Matthew lifts your head to meet his gaze. They had been such a wonderful help in this time of distress, and you were going to be sad to see them go.

“I promise you they will make frequent trips. By the time they get a routine down, I am sure we will both be sick of them,” Matthew chuckles.

Leaning into his strong figure, you relish the last few seconds of your alone time with him, before he walks away and everything changes.

And as he leaves and shuts the door behind him, your gaze drifts back to that little red box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Marilyn and Laura place the last thing for breakfast on the table, Matthew looks anxiously at the bedroom door.

“Do you think she’s alright?” Matthew mutters.

“I think she is just relishing the last little bit of time to herself that she has,” Marilyn jokes. “After all, she’s got two kids to look after now.”

As Matthew shoots her a look, Marilyn winks at his father. And just as everyone goes to sit down, you emerge from the room.

“There she is!” Matthew’s father bellows, getting up and going to give her a hug. “How is the beautiful mother of my grandchild?”

“She’s well,” you giggle, smiling up at him. He was warm, and welcoming, and you enjoyed his company greatly. He, most of wall, was going to be missed by you.

“Come. Sit down and eat while Angel is napping,” Matthew’s father nods over to Angel in her bassinet.

As you walk over to the table, Matthew looks up at you. Giving him a comforting smile, you run up and wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face into his hair.

And as Matthew grabs your hands to kiss them, his cheek grazes over the engagement ring.

“I love you, Mr. Gubler,” you whisper in his ear.

“And I love you, Mrs. Gubler,” he whispers back.


	18. Full Circle

Choking back the emotion, you slowly wave your hand off in the distance. Watching Angel’s school bus pull away was much more heart-wrenching than you had ever imagined. You were worried for her safety. You were worried for her intelligence. You were worried even for yourself…that you would no longer know what to do with your life now that your little miracle was spending her first days at school.

Feeling Matthew slip his arms around you from behind, a few tears slip out and down your cheek. As he kisses your tears away, you turn your head and bury it into the crook of his neck. At first, you thought having your money was an advantage. But now?

Now, you needed goals.

Walking in silence back into the house, you slowly turn to Matthew.

“I’m going to miss her,” you squeak.

“I am, too, Y/N,” he whispers, drawing you close and kissing the top of your head.

“And you’re going to work now, aren’t you?”

“Unfortunately,” Matthew trails off.

You and Angel had read thru all of your books. She loved sitting on your lap and listening to you talk. You had run out of yarn with which to crochet, and you even needed to go grocery shopping if you were going to make anything.

“That’s what I’ll start with…” you mused to yourself.

“What’s that, baby?” Matthew asked.

“I need to go grocery shopping,” you stated.

“There you go…” Matthew trailed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arriving at the grocery store, Matthew had just messaged you that he was at work alright. They had a lot of scenes to film, but he said he would try his hardest to take a break around the time Angel got home from school. Your stomach sank a bit at the idea that he might not be here, but you were a little excited at the fact that you might be able to spend some time alone with her.

30 minutes without her and your heart already ached.

Funny how a family changes that.

Walking down the aisles, your hands start to shake. Damn it, you think. Forgot to eat again.

Grabbing a packet of Doritos, you munch on them as you walk up and down the baking aisle, looking for some inspiration. You knew how much Angel loved your homemade chocolate ice cream, and you figured a nice slice of chocolate cake would go well with it.

Grabbing all of your items, you head for the cash register, passing by the “Family Planning” section of the grocery store. Eyeing the shelves in curiosity, you see a row of boxes for ovulation testing. You and Matthew had briefly talked about having another child, but it wasn’t anything in the works. But, you decided to toss the box in the cart anyway.

After all, it couldn’t hurt, right?

After getting home and putting all of the groceries away, you slip into the bathroom. Taking the stick out and peeing on it, you set it on the counter. You figured that if you were in a good area of ovulation, maybe when Matthew got home from his filming, the two of you could give it a good ol’ college try.

Leaving it on the counter to stew, you clean yourself up and head out into the kitchen. Pulling out flour and sugar, as well as baking sheets and the big tabletop mixer, you start measuring everything necessary for this cake. Mixing and churning, preheating the oven and sliding everything in, you set the baking timer on the counter and venture back into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting on the bathroom floor, stunned, you slowly reach for your phone. Dialing Spencer’s number, he doesn’t pick up.

He must be on the set.

You dial Aaron, you dial Shemar, and you even dial Kirsten, but to no avail. In your shock, it didn’t even occur to you that none of them would pick up. Out of all of the moments to be in the middle of a scene, this had to be one of them.

Because as you absentmindedly sat the phone on the floor beside you, you stared down at the positive pregnancy test you were holding.

Well, you thought, at least now I know what I’m going to do with my time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N!” Matthew yells as you picked up the phone. “Y/N, what’s wrong. I’m getting into my car now. Talk to me.”

Laughing, you tell him to slow down. “Nothing is wrong, Matthew. In fact, everything is wonderful.”

“You called Aaron, you called AJ, something has happened,” he said matter-of-factly.

“My love, do you remember this morning when I was so worried because I didn’t know what I was going to do with my time?”

Sighing, Spencer says, “Y/N, this is about a hobby you found?”

Smiling and giggling, you say, “No, Matthew, this is about a child we’ve created.”

After a long, lengthy pause, you hear the rush of wind and Matthew speak. “S-say that again?”

“I’m pregnant, Matthew.”

Whoops and screams of joy come from the background. You hear the crack of high fives and the rushing of people around the room. Laughing to yourself, still sitting on the bathroom floor, Matthew comes back to the phone.

“I love you. I love you so much,” he dotes.

“I’m going to head to the clinic for the official blood test and to get my prenatals,” you state.

“I’ll meet you there,” Matthew muses.

“No, no. You stay right where you are,” you say.

“Why?” Matthew asks.

“Because after the appointment, I’m coming to you,” you smile.

“I can’t wait,” Matthew grins.

Hanging up the phone, you throw open your closet, looking for something nice to wear. Shuffling thru your clothes, you come across the dress.

The yellow dress you wore that night.

The night that changed everything.

Tears welling in your eyes, you slip it on and toss your hair up in a bun. You search for your purse, throw on your sunglasses, and head for the clinic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shuffling from foot to foot, Matthew couldn’t stop looking for your car. As everyone wrapped up the last scene before lunch, Shemar comes up and puts his hand on Matthew’s shoulder.

“She’s gonna get here alright,” Shemar says.

Sighing, Matthew lightly nods. Every time you got behind the wheel of a car, Matthew always worried until you hit your destination. It’s why you two always messaged each other when you got to your end point. Just a habit, he assumed, from after the accident.

Seeing your car pull up, Matthew smiles and starts walking toward you, only to stop in his tracks when you get out of the car.

The dress.

That beautiful, wonderful, sexy yellow dress.

And as Matthew stands there, watching you close the distance, with your dress flowing in the wind, Shemar chuckles behind him and says:

“Full circle, my friend. Full circle.”


End file.
